Thursday, October 13, 2016

The Overlook Theatre Reviews: The Chair

of 7 viewers "Liked" "The Chair" (2016, USA)
Here's what the creatures had to say:

Speed Demon - "Need a film to fall asleep to? Well this one's for you. It seemed as if at times the film was trying to be artsy and creative yet it failed miserably. I felt like breaking the chair I was sitting in after watched this completely boring and uninteresting film. Super wack and disappointing." - 1 Star

Dabbles - "This movie was frustrating; they tried to do a lot and failed. Rest in peace Piper. Other than that I strongly suggest bringing a sleeping bag. You'll knock the fuck out ("Bring a bed to watch The Chair" - Lord Battle). The production was interesting, grading sucked, acting is good but then the plot points didn't make sense. And when you finally figure things out it's to late." - 2 Stars

Lord Battle - "When a film starts with a person being cut in half, it's safe to assume you're in for a gory ride. The Chair starts with a similar situation but never returns to the playful carnage it sets you up for. The bottom line is this film is hard to follow and boring. And I strongly stand by that assessment even though the Hot Rod himself (Roddy Piper) and the kid from Gremlins (Zach Galligan) take turns raping a criminal... To DEATH. No joke. Pass." - 1.5 Stars

The Creature From the ComiCombs - "The only positive thing I have to say about this film is that Roddy Piper was good. The rest of it was absolutely boring. Thanks to the lullaby playing in the background through this borefest I dozed off a few times. If you're tired don't watch this. Even if you're fully awake grab some coffee, you'll need the caffeine." - 2 Stars (for Piper)

Huntress - "I can't help but feel like I missed some message that The Chair was hoping to convey... But aside from the tagline, I can't imagine what that would be. And as much as I love Roddy Piper, casting him - in the role of the evil prison guard at least - hindered the movie rather than validated it. I couldn't stop thinking about who I was watching commit these awful things. This was not a fun watch." - 2 Stars

Drumachine - "The Chair fell flat due to a lack of character development and poor sound engineering." - 2 Stars

The Great Hornito - "This movie didn't make any sense to me at all. I don't know if it was because I was drunk or because it was just really bad. I think probably both. The pacing was really slow. It was filmed very dark and it was just really boring. The only sense I made from it was about the relationship between an abusive prison guard (the icon Rowdy Roddy Piper) and a psychotic inmate. I guess they were trying to see who was crazier. It didn't work. The film was awful." - 1 Star

The Overlook Theatre Final Rating*

(Below is for after you've seen the film)

Opinions aside, The Chair played tentatively for the first 15 minutes. As the film rolled on, people slowly started to slip into a slumber (thus the sleeping jokes), only to wake up even more confused. Now if people fall asleep for 10-15+ minutes, they lose the right to review the film and get a *Fell Asleep* instead. The reason I do this is simply because falling asleep doesn't mean the film was terrible or even bad, as anyone could be tired from the previous day of work (we all work before the screenings). I'm mentioning this because everyone fought for about 5 minutes through a sleepy period and were just bored for the rest of the film. No one actually slept through the movie.
I will mention that Dabbles (the sleepiest of the creatures) is the only one who kept up with the story and was in it enough to actually explain a couple of the lamer twists that pop up.

This screener was sent to us by Alterna Asdfa Comics and I'd just like to say thank you for the opportunity to review it.

- Lord Battle

The Overlook Theatre materialized in a residence for a screening on 10/6/2016
*Based on the star ratings turned in by character reviewers, others viewed and got to "Dislike" or "Like" but that does not effect the rating.

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