Monday, November 4, 2013

Butcher Boys

0 of 5 viewers "Liked" "Butcher Boys" (2012, USA)
Here's what the citizens of the Overlook Theatre had to say:

Lord Battle - "Butcher bro's is more accurate of a title, since the killers are unlikable douch bags. The best parts of this film take fthe form of very obvious homage to the writers previous work." - 2 Stars

Ice Giant - "Sloppy mess of a movie, shitty plot was hard enough to follow on its own and the sub-par camera work made it a real head ache." - 1/2 Star (Default to 1)

Huntress - "I didn't hate it, I'm still unsure what the plot is... It did feel like like a teenage boy wrote it at times." - 2 Stars

The Great Hornito - "Butcher Boys is an appropriate title cuz they butchered the script, they butchered the story, they butchered the cast, and they butchered the sound track. This movie made no sense at all and apparently butcher boys like to eat boobs." - 1 Star

Book Wyrm - Walked out - Default 2 Stars

The Overlook Theatre Final Rating*
The trailer basically sums up the first hour of the film, not that watching the first hour adds depth or any substance to what you just saw. "Butcher Boys" feels like a lame attempt at a modern/urban "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" and the "Wrong Turn" looking dude on the poster is the biggest tease, so don't expect to see him eating our teenage characters.
I think what really killed me was how lame and unlikable the first group of bad guys we run into are. They take the form of 20 somethings that wear all black and fail at acting "sadistic", the worst part is how much time the film spends with them. There is this moment in the film where one of the girls is running through an ally and is cut off by an SUV. The SUV contains what appears to be a bunch of "Vatos" (See the worst episode of "The Walking Dead" to learn more) and one jumps out about to harass the obviously scared to death woman until he notices the crazy CHUD chasing her. I'm sorry to disgrace the name of CHUD on such a bad film but those 4 letters best describe the lame villains. He then jumps in and him and his gang drive off scared out of their minds by the douche cannibals.
A couple more things then I'll file away "Butcher Boys" for good, I promise. First, the homage I refer to in my review takes places at the very end of the film and is so obvious that there is no way you'll miss it, that is if you've seen "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" before. Second, the poster I used is titled Bone Boys because that was what they were originally going to title the film. If you are wondering why they changed it, just check out the tagline and try not to laugh.
- Lord Battle

*Based on the star ratings turned in by character reviewers, others viewed and got to "Dislike" or "Like" but that does not effect the rating.

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