Saturday, December 19, 2015

The Overlook Theatre Reviews: Krampus: The Reckoning

of 7 viewers "Liked" "Krampus: The Reckoning" (USA, 2015)
Here's what the citizens of the Overlook Theatre had to say:

Speed Demon - "Promising in the first few minutes where the bad step parents feel the wrath of the dumbest CG'd Krampus ever. After this scene the yawning begins. Production-wise it was decent for sure. The voice over in one scene had me blown away on how disgustingly bad it was. Honestly there is nothing good to remember about this film. All I really have to say is stay away from this super boring ass movie. By adding Krampus into the title, they are trying to fool you into thinking you're in for a cool horror themed Christmas movie. You would be better off feeling the wrath of Krampus than watching this one. Bah Humbug!" - 1 Star

KillDozer - "Every now and then a movie gets screened at the Overlook that is so dulling to the senses that it drives the viewers into a frenzy of maniacal laughter and threats of suicide just to avoid having to see it through to the end. I take films like this on as a challenge and without the support of the viewers around me I would have been defeated. In this film, both Krampus and Christmas are but a small note to an awful mess of a badly written otherworldly revenge film. They get one star for effort. A warning to true monster kids, this film will Krampus your style." - 1 Star

Dabbles - "Great shots and production but felt like a giant R rated filler episode of Are You Afraid of the Dark. Yes, I mean to be dated." - 3 Stars

Lord Battle - "We embarked on this journey with a powerful group of adventurers, well versed in approaching terrible film. With an illusionary CG Krampus controlled by an evil little girl with voodoo dolls, scenes that start with the most obvious outcomes in mind, yet take days to reach and the only imagery worth mentioning is two pairs of breast, it's safe to say we were in over our heads and were outright defeated. Krampus The Reckoning is a very powerful evil, avoid at all costs!" - 1.5 Stars

Huntress - "Watching Krampus the Reckoning was a very tepid experience. I could not recommend this movie to anyone, not even to laugh though, because it was too slow and forgettable to leave an impression on me, with the exception of one or two pretty cool deaths and one of the worst artistic renditions of Krampus that I've ever seen. This monster walked straight out of a 90's computer video game and somehow managed to look even goofier towards the end. I had no one to root for in this movie, which just left me waiting for this non-Krampus train wreck to end. That being said, this was still not the worst feature of the night." - 2 Stars

Math Mage - "This movie made me want to kill myself. Just headbutt the concrete till I die. Boring and predictable with lame effects and unlikable characters." - 0 Stars (Default 1)

The Impostor - "With a slew of Krampus films out this holiday season I figured not all would be good, but this is one of the worst. Robotic acting, slow scenes that take forever to get to the point. Actors that look very confused in their scenes and boring dialogue. Krampus The Reckoning overall isn't very entertaining. I would not recommend this film." - 1 Star

The Overlook Theatre Final Rating*
(Below is for after you've seen the film)

The biggest disappointment Krampus: The Reckoning has to offer is easily the CG demon they call Krampus. Normally this kind of a CG offense comes as a reveal in the third act of the film. Strangely enough Krampus: The Reckoning leads with this dumb looking horned skeleton as he appears in the opening scene. This is probably a deal breaker for most viewers, but for those who are hardcore and will stick-out any terrible film, or those who dumped money into the movie and are determined to get something for it, are rewarded with some promising details; there are boobs as a little girl spies on her foster mother hooking up with some strange looking dude. She's quickly caught and locked in her room with a padlock! Then she reveals her hidden voodoo dolls which turn out to control Krampus... These events set the pace for plenty more odd things to occur, yet the rest of the film drags on for what seems like forever... So here at the Overlook, the creatures in attendance quickly resorted to riffing on this poor film.

The amount of baldness this film contained was "shocking" for sure.

One of the things we just couldn't get over was how the evil little girl made no attempt to hide what was happening and even literally offered up exactly what was going on, only to have these hotshots above spend and hour trying to figure it out. I mean she was drawing a picture of a large human -goat head hybrid and the child psychologist didn't even bat an eye! Also the unaging little girl turning out to be sisters with the main character was predicted by Math Mage and impressed no one.
By the end of Krampus: The Reckoning, everyone had thrown in the towel and was relieved to see it end. It even was tough to get through with some of our best riffers in attendance... If you've seen this whole film and had a different experience, please share it with us!

- Lord Battle

*Based on the star ratings turned in by character reviewers, others viewed and got to "Dislike" or "Like" but that does not effect the rating.

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