Lord Battle's Box of Dread 03/26/14

March has been a rough month for screenings, so I've decided to get back to posting about things other than reviews, which has honestly been a popular request for a while now.

If you don't know what the Box of Dread is I'll take a moment now to explain. The horror news website Dread Central has started packaging up some of their horror swag and sending it out as very cool kind of blind box. For $20 a month or $57 for 3 months, you can take part in the pleasures of working in the horror industry. Here's what I received today:

Pictured above is the contents of what I consider the best Box of Dread to date. I must admit that I'm a bit biased as John and Lotti Knowles have become personal favorites of the Overlook Theatre but even after taking that into consideration the "Chastity Bites" pack Dread Central put together is perfect for showing a special someone a horror flick. And if you don't have a special someone, they included toys and cards to make sure your night is eventfully nonetheless. Keep in mind these Boxes of Dread do vary box to box, so if you think Jail Lori is a lame character, I'm sure others got a different set. 

Honestly, I find myself forgetting about these boxes every month so when they show up it's always a pleasant surprise, I highly recommend signing up for a box. 

Beware Boxes of Dread are meant for hardcore horror fans only!!

Order yours here.

Celebrities Really DO Bleed Pink

This awesome promotional poster was sent to me in an email earlier today and I must say, while I do like the first one more, this is still pretty awesome. In fact this poster couldn't have come at a better time, seeing as I was feeling extremely tired but still planned on posting something after I worked my two jobs. But the best part about this gift from the L.A. Slasher had to be what they wrote: "To my #1 fan, it's true, they Do bleed pink". If you don't know by now I, Lord Battle, really am L.A. Slashers #1 fan and I am incredibly excited they noticed! Attached to the email was this press release I'm very excited to share:

“L.A. Slasher” releases new poster

Social Satire calls for “Death to Reality T.V.”

LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA (March 24, 2014) – The buzzed about feature film “L.A. Slasher,” directed by Martin Owen and produced by Jeffrey Wright and Daniel Sollinger (“Girls Against Boys”, “The Alphabet Killer”), has recently completed post production.  Jonathan Willis (“The Machine”), Shree Patel, Martin Owen and Abigail Wright also produce.

“L.A. Slasher” sports an eclectic cast: Danny Trejo (“Machete”), Mischa Barton (“The O.C.”), Dave Bautista (“Riddick”), Eric Roberts (“The Dark Knight”) Drake Bell (“Drake & Josh”), Brooke Hogan (“Hogan Knows Best”), Tori Black (“Not Another Celebrity Movie”) and the voice of Andy Dick (“News Radio”).

Incensed by the tabloid culture which celebrates it, the L.A. Slasher publicly abducts a series of reality TV stars, while the media and general public in turn begin to question if society is better off without them. A biting, social satire about reality TV and the glorification of people who are famous for simply being famous, “L.A. Slasher” explores why it has become acceptable and even admirable for people to become influential and wealthy based on no merit or talent - purely through notoriety achieved through shameful behavior.

Says producer Wright, “We are very optimistic about the commercial success of L.A. Slasher, given the explosion of Twitter and Facebook followers on our social media platforms. It's pretty amazing."

Sollinger adds, “The L.A. Slasher is a character that everyone can relate to. He is angry and frustrated with the often toxic role celebrity plays in our society.” Added writer and director Owen, “We are putting a funhouse mirror up to fame. The movie is vibrant and exciting and I know whoever sees it will be changed.”

Using a meta casting angle which taps into pop culture zeitgeist, Mischa Barton plays a washed up Actress who now works in reality tv, while Eric Roberts’ character is a Mayor who deals with a substance abuse problem. Porn star Tori Black’s character of Teen Mom who is the victim of “accidentally” released sex tapes, while teen crooner Drake Bell plays a Popstar who spits in the face of his fans.

Riffing on familiar television/film tropes, Brooke Hogan also appears as a reality T.V. star, along with a Socialite (portrayed by Korrina Rico), an Heiress (Elizabeth Morris), and real life scream queens Ashlynn Yennie (The Human Centipede), Barbara Nedeljakova (Hostel), Allison Kyler (Laid To Rest) and Carlee Baker (The Woman) portraying themselves. Actress Marisa Lauren appears as a stripper with ambitions of fame, and Abigail Wright plays a reporter trying to make sense of it all.

The Ghost Galleon & How this Bleak Adventure is Perfect for a Table Top

7 of 7 viewers "Liked" "Horror of the Zombies"/"The Ghost Galleon"/"The Blind Dead 3" (1974, Spain)

Here's what the citizens of the Overlook Theatre had to say:

Lord Battle - "Campy and absurd don't begin to describe this film, so get some beer and friends and enjoy but if you still have doubts about viewing "The Ghost Galleon" just know this film features a satanic orgy on a ghostship in another dimension." - 4 1/2 Stars

Math Mage - "A Lamentations of the Flame Princess adventure plus some of the most ridiculous dubbing ever." - 3 Stars

Huntress - "The Room's nonsense meets Scooby Doo's investigative curiosity in this very strange venture." - 3 1/2 Stars

The Great Hornito - "This felt like this was a really fun Italian, live action, crazy over the top Scooby Doo ghost story. Any one who loves pirates, bad dubs, sexy girls in bikinis and ghost ship exorcisms, should definitely check this out." - 4 Stars

Bug - "This movie was definitely not what I expected, but it was very entertaining." - 3 Stars

Unicorn Slayer - "Classic Italian style film making, the dubs, acting, and overall idea are painfully laughable. Amusing as a groan-inducing film, not for much else." - 2 1/2 Stars

Book Wyrm - "Interesting to say the least. No cohesive story but still sort of entertaining. Fun to laugh at!" - 2 Stars

The Overlook Theatre Final Review*

"The Ghost Galleon" is the coolest of the films many titles so that's what I'll be calling it. There isn't much to say that fans of Italian horror won't already be expecting, the dub is amazing/awful depending on how you look at it, the story is dream like and absurd, and the characters are bad Hollywood impersonators while the undead are unique and brutal. 

The story is the real oddball in this one as motivations and actions seem totally lost in translation. This normally would be a bad thing but "The Ghost Galleon" just starts to feel dream-like, just not in the typical film style, it feels more like a group nightmare. My favorite scene is also one the best examples of this group nightmare, as a model held captive in a very dungeonesk basement area of a building tries to escape. She fails miserably but the scene is defiantly strange and totally awesome.  

In the header I stated that this movie would be perfect for a table top, and by "table top" I mean table top RPG's in the style of D&D. Although this movie would make an adventure far too brutal for any version of D&D and would need to be played in my favorite system "Lamentations of the Flame Princess". I can imagine a module now... It would read "The Ghost Galleon" and when you open it up you would see the same image the film opens with:

LotFP also is the perfect system because it focuses on the fact adventurers are greedy and go to extreme lengths for treasure. The people that make up the party in the film may not be adventures in the classic D&D sense but they would work perfectly for a modern game and everything in this film happens because of a cheap ploy to make money. In fact once they board the ship the way the film flows starts to feel like a group of friends in a dungeon, as players tend to be very weary until something happens. Even the speculation as to where they are and what's going on sounds like something a sleep deprived group of friends came up with. But what really makes this a LotFP adventure over any other system is the complete lack of hope and the sense of immanent doom both the characters in the film and players of the module would undoubtedly be feeling.

I could go on and on about how perfectly this film would work, so instead of ruining the whole movie let me just say this to the creator of LotFP... Raggi you gotta make this an adventure!!! 

- Lord Battle

If you'd like to learn more about the Flame Princess I have his blog on my list of awesome blogs and here is a link to his games site.

*Based on the star ratings turned in by character reviewers, others viewed and got to "Dislike" or "Like" but that does not effect the rating. 

Bitten and a Fun Fact About the Math Mage

4 of 6 viewers "Liked" "Bitten" (2008, Canada)

Here's what the citizens of the Overlook Theatre had to say:

The Great Hornito - "This is definitely Jason Mewes best performance, which means he was slightly above average. This vampire movie was really a pleasant surprise. If someone would have described this movie to me I would have never watched it. The acting and the over the top music every situation really made this entertaining and worth watching." - 3 1/2 Stars

Ice Giant - "Jason Mewes at his best." - 2 Stars

Unicorn Slayer - "Visually, save cheap contacts, it was intriguing, but the plot is a leftover casserole of expected vampire film scenes. Poor acting was only made bearable by the one good actor and only likable character, Rog. Poor acting, sub par plot, and pathetic, reversed romantic themes of wounded birds and savior complexes." - 2 Stars

Huntress - "I was ready to hate this movie, just based on the cover. Although the acting usually solidified that feeling, the camp and novelty mixed with a couple of fitting story aspects made this a fun movie (with the right people)." - 3 Stars

Math Mage - "Jay manages to be out acted in every scene he's in" - 3 Stars

Lord Battle - "This film starred Jason Mewes, the fact it's watchable is a success, even if the supporting character Roger totally steals the show." 3 Stars

The Overlook Theatre Final Rating*

I purchased "Bitten" at FYE for $2 on sale for $1.33 or something, at the time I was sure this was a waste of money, but the DVD came with a really nice slip cover and I am a hopeless collector. To my surprise the movie was not a totally pos, in fact the first scene offers some very noir shadow play backed by a very amateurish John Carpenter-esk theme, this was a thousand times better than what I was expecting.

Now with that said this film is far from great, if you couldn't tell from the citizens' tagline reviews the acting is a major issue and the plot is far from inspired. Still this is a soft core vampire flick staring Jason Mewes.

After the credits roll, stick around for a scene that kinda puts a weird spin on the whole film, this is kinda important when trying to figure out how the hell vampires work in this strange world, but don't expect any real answers.

Lastly if you're wondering why this film made the big screen here at the Overlook, it's not because of any overlooked artsy theme or deep relevant notion but simply because I wanted to hear the Math Mage's commentary as the film played (which wasn't much). Math Mage tends to work his thought process out-loud and during a screening this would normally be annoying but somehow he manages to do so very respectfully and it really is very entertaining.

- Lord Battle

*Based on the star ratings turned in by character reviewers, others viewed and got to "Dislike" or "Like" but that does not effect the rating. 

A Morning Message

Running the Overlook Theatre has been pretty stressful lately and it doesn't help that I've been feeling low on energy. Between work and the energy it takes getting 5-14 friends over regularly to screen films, I've been dragging on posts. I feel terrible about this simply because this blog has become a huge source of  enjoyment for me and all of the citizens.

Today was a great reminder of why a small amount of stress is nothing compared to the opportunities the blog presents. I slept in late again today (which has become a habit) and instead of being upset at the time I'd lost, I was thrilled by a message I had received on twitter.

"For you, because you understand me, and what I'm about to do. I wonder, do reality stars bleed pink? Let's find out." - L.A. Slasher

With this photo attached.

I can't say enough about how excited I am for this film, I think it's pure genius, and I mean every aspect of the film and it's marketing. I mean if the idea of the L.A. Slasher doesn't interest you, than check your pulse because you're dead.

Follow the L.A. Slasher on Facebook or Twitter if you don't already.

Occupant

2 of 6 viewers "Liked" "Occupant" (2011, USA)

Here's what the citizens of the Overlook Theatre had to say:

Book Wyrm - "I liked this because there was a cute cat, a cool twist, and was sort of believable. It was also funny and intriguing. I love crazy decent into madness pseudo ghost films." - 3 Stars

Lord Battle - "Occupant is a terrible film although somewhat entertaining. This slow-burn is just burnt." - 2 Stars

The Impostor - "Occupant tries hard to build suspense but ends up being a very slow and boring movie. Occupant is a film u seem to know whats gonna happen from the beginning but the movie tries to pull you in different directions that just ends up confusing you." - 1 Star

Huntress - "This movie had a shaky beginning, got better and then plummeted. You'd have to be very forgiving to enjoy this." - 2 Stars

The Great Hornito - I thought this movie had a lot of potential but it came up a little short. Movies when people get isolated in a house/app and go crazy are some of my favs but this one wasn't one of the greatest. The Filipino thanksgiving scene almost saved the movie... almost." - 3 Stars

Ice Giant - "The gore effects were pretty cool but they went down to man avenues without ever fully committing to any which left open to many annoying questions." - 2 Stars

The Overlook Theatre Final Rating*

First I feel it's important to say I love slow-burns, especially in the vein of Polanski's apartment trilogy, Occupant however is far from that. The main problem with this film is that it's totally unbelievable that Danny Hill (or anyone for this matter) would have gone crazy, as nothing during his 12 day stint was very mind altering. A lot of things were scary and or strange but this film fails in what most slow burns showcase, a decent into madness.

"When his late grandmother leaves him her rent-controlled apartment in New York, Danny Hill moves in... only to discover that he isn't exactly alone." This is the synopsis for "Occupant" found on Netfilx, this also helps make discovering what this film was originally intended to be about impossible.

There is a scene where Danny starts creating crude weapons from home appliances and what he creates is pretty cool (other than the tennis racket with spikes), even though they way it was filmed is obnoxious. In all fairness, this film is easy to sit through or awesome to have on as a backround horror film that won't distract you while you clean your room, but ultimately the touchy Eastern European doorman, the complaining neighbors (from next door even though the noise would bother someone below...), the scummy bug guy, and the hot girl who stalks guys for a blog all made for a lot of content that failed to move the story or explain the mystery that kept everyone watching.

- Lord Battle

*Based on the star ratings turned in by character reviewers, others viewed and got to "Dislike" or "Like" but that does not effect the rating. 

The Upper Footage with some Context

2 of 7 viewers "Liked" "The Upper Footage" (2013, USA)

Here's what the citizens of the Overlook Theatre had to say:

The Impostor - "The Upper Footage is something I haven't seen done before, it seemed almost too real. It was very basic and simple, I feel if it got more complicated it may not have felt as real. Characters were very unlikable and scenes dragged on a bit too long which made it boring. Upper's plot had me intrigued even though things weren't executed as well as they could have been. If I didn't find out it wasn't real I think I would have thought differently about it." - 3 Stars

Lord Battle - "Viewed without any context this film is certainly a downer and because I feel that the film can't stand alone (explanation after the trailer) I have to rate it poorly, despite the fact that "The Upper Footage" is an awesome experiment in film making. I just wish Justin Cole played with the actual footage more and made it not only feel real, but also entertaining." - 2 Stars

The Great Hornito - "Found footage is my favorite genre right now and this one was a pretty good one. I really love the idea of this movie but they just didn't do enough with this unique story. I thought it would have been better if it was more campy and over the top." - 3 1/2 Stars

Huntress - "This was a painfully uneventful hour and a half, spent with a group of rich assholes. All the director-made hype about the footage being real seemed like an excuse to have barely anything happen." - 2 Stars

Book Wyrm - Spoiler - "Nothing was resolved, nothing happened, and the only 1/2 decent character got killed (Will). Terrible. I love found footage but nothing could save this film." - 1 Star

Ice Giant - Fell Asleep - Default 2 Stars

Bug - "The movie failed to keep my attention 0% of the time. There was a tiny amount of interesting content." - 2 Stars

The Overlook Theatre Final Rating*

(First I have to say none of the citizens knew any of what I have written below while screening the film.)

I have to admit I feel a bit awkward about writing the wrap up to "The Upper Footage" as this is the first film I've seen in a long time that made me feel like I missed something. Upper Footage isn't some deeply intellectual film or a feature with a complicated plot; no, the reason I felt lost has to do with the main selling point of the film. Believing "The Upper Footage" is real is very important when it comes to the entertainment value of the film, simply because they focused solely on making it feel as real as possible. If you found yourself asking "Is it real?" then you enjoyed this film more than I did. 

With a bit of research I discovered the answer to my "The Upper Footage" question. Upper footage is more of an art film trying to prove the medium and what can be down with it while making a social statement. The subjects in the film are a representation of the 1% and the evils that occur when you are detached from normal society (This is obvious without any research). Although this commentary is fun, it has nothing to do with my feelings of missing something during the screening, that answer was found when reading about Justin Cole and his intent when filming "The Upper Footage".

Cole loved the media buzz that surrounded "The Blair Witch Project" and wondered why other found footage films never tried to take advantage of the incredibly realistic style. I'm sure you can tell where this is going but it's important to discuss because all of the footage in the beginning of "The Upper Footage" from TMZ and other news sources is real. Cole himself set out leaking footage and spreading rumors so that the hype and feel of his film was as real as possible. The other thing that is important to know is that the blurred face of the victim isn't just a gimmick, apparently she is an actual socialite with a famous mother and or father and the nude scene she did is actually cut due to distributors and theaters demanding an edit.

The edit demands started after bad press from this flyer used to promote the film.

I only wish I could have seen "The Upper Footage" in the right context. Sadly Upper footage will end up like most films that do well for reasons other than simply being a good film and fail in the long run. I am however very interested in what Justin Cole may have up his sleeve for future endeavors. 

- Lord Battle

*Based on the star ratings turned in by character reviewers, others viewed and got to "Dislike" or "Like" but that does not effect the rating.