Thursday, February 8, 2018

The Overlook Theatre Reviews: Winchester

1 of 8 viewers "Liked" "Winchester" (2018, USA)
Here's what the creatures had to say:

Wandering Panda - "A mediocre horror film that's very predictable and where most of the scares are jump scares. I had high hopes for this movie and thought it would be at least watchable. I was partially right. Helen Mirren was fantastic, she's the only shining light in this movie. Jason Clarke was absolutely boring and so bland that I was not interested in what he was doing. This is a lazy attempt by two directors at a source material they almost didn't understand. I'm sorry but I cannot recommend this movie." - 2 Stars

The Impostor - "You know those films that draw you in with trailers filled with the creepiest and most exciting moments, but when you go see them you are deathly bored? That is Winchester. I saw the trailer a few months back and was super excited to see the movie. I don't know much about the Winchester house and its history except it's supposed to be haunted. Boy, was I let down by this film! I hope 2018 has some better horror releases because this one will be forgotten when the Overlook creatures decide out the top 10 in December. The "based on actual events" title card intrigued me, I was hoping for a somewhat decent haunting but found myself wanting to go home and watch Her Cry instead. I wish I could recount more about Winchester - I just saw it a few hours ago and I've already forgotten most of what happened! It's more of a blur of in-cohesive plot and storyline with one legit jump scare that awoke me from dozing off. Overall a pass for me." - 2 Stars

Dabbles - "This was a good attempt at a history horror. Overall, as much as it was very hokey, it was a well written interesting story. The twist was well executed and I love how they incorporated the historical events that occurred at that time.- 4 Stars

Lord Battle - "The historical fantasy film Winchester, flies its 'Merica flag high as our protagonist showcases opioid abuse, our antagonist exorcises his poor judgment with the titular weapon in a retro Pizzagate plot, and we defeat a specter with a sentimental bullet. The Spierig Brothers still somehow managed to make a toneless and ultimately sterile movie, which when dealing with Pretty Girl Ghost Mysteries or Gothic Horror can be really good! Winchester however, is just boring." - 2 Stars

Huntress - "There are ways to combine history with genre in an interesting and engaging ways, but forcibly inserting questionable historical trivia into a script that’s already treading ridiculous territory definitely is not how. I will say there was one solid and unexpected moment that froze me for several moments, both other than that the movie was incredibly dull, in some cases nonsensical. I don’t know who I would ever recommend this to because I’d never want to see it again." - 2 Stars

Math Mage - "Based on the previews I was expecting a shit sandwich, but I found a baloney sandwich on stale bread with mayonnaise (note: I do not like mayonnaise). I thought I would be offended by the historical liberties taken, but it was so far from reality that it's basically a fantasy world. Judged on its own, it has an interesting system and uses it to tell an interesting story. The story isn't executed well, feeling rushed and too proud of itself. I like it when ghosts are weak against the circumstances of their death, but the assumption that the ghost has a legitimate point is particularly problematic in this film. The filmmakers clearly have something to say about gun control, but trying to appease a spree killer doesn't work. Implying that he's right to be angry is fine, implying that he's right to shoot innocent people is not fine and they believe it doesn't work, that's why (spoiler) the only way to stop the bad guy with a gun is with a good guy with a gun. Kinda undercut the message there." - 2.5 Stars

Eddie the Gamer Ghoul - "Fer a movie wift da name Winchester I expexted a shit ton more guns. Like a gun doc ya know. Buuuut, guess wift dat entro of da odd guy do'n a seance. Ya might not wanna give folks dat option. Heh. Oh an' da chicks in dis flick were da most badass, though dat don't say much. Being da story was lack'n almost as much as I lack smoovskin. An' one more thing. God'am dat house is creepy... so why they didn't use it more so den overly simplistic jump scares is far beyond me mate. After alls I'm jus' here fer da laughs." - 2 Stars

Clark Little - Fell Asleep - Default 2 Stars

The Overlook Theatre Final Rating*
(Below is for after you've seen the film)

Winchester may have broken the Overlook record of a single film to receive the most 2 star reviews. But what compels a reviewer to give a film 2 stars? Well if someone walks out/falls asleep for more than 15 minutes, I make their review a default 2 Stars. This is supposed to reflect how a more engaging film can typically keep someone awake or in their seat. If someone claims to "hates" a film so much that they walk out, I feel like they can't accurately judge the film and ultimately just "disliked" it. Other than those 2 circumstances I can't be a 100% sure what's behind a 2 star score, but being incredibly bored during the screening seems to do it...

Below I've selected two YouTube videos that will help pad this wrap-up while also presenting a little Winchester doc that is almost nothing but MOOD. And I'm very proud to say that with Clark Little's help I was able to track down the ONLY video of the Winchester pre-show... enjoy!

This is the MOODy short doc.

Welcome to the pre-show!

- Lord Battle

The Overlook Theatre materialized at Century Theatres for an opening night screening on 2/1/2018
*Based on the star ratings turned in by character reviewers, others viewed and got to "Dislike" or "Like" but that does not affect the rating.

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