Here's what the creatures had to say:
Midnight Bloom - "I had very high hopes for American Satan, just because Andy Black from Black Veil Brides and Ben Bruce from Asking Alexandria are in the movie. I loved the cast, soundtrack, and concept of the movie but hated how almost every other scene was a sex scene throughout the entire movie. If only The Relentless was a real band, I think they would be cool. Overall I'd give this movie a 3.5, it’s a movie I could rewatch if I was bored and it’s just out of the ordinary. Would I recommend this movie? Sure, to anyone who wants to watch something fresh." - 3.5 Stars
Math Mage - "This is the worst movie I have ever seen. It's as if someone wrote the movie about Dethklok but knew nothing about Metalocalypse except that it existed. So they threw together some devil movie cliches and some rock band cliches with some preposterous anti-religious* nonsense with dialogue written by autocomplete, mumbled by skeleton people as they jump cut their way through what scenery Malcolm McDowell hadn't chewed yet. Clearly wins the prize for most scene changes without establishing shots (especially irritating with how inconsistent the time/place/stages are) they clearly believe in their 'progressive message' not cognizant of their hypocrisy; 'we solved bullying with murder... Yay?'" - 1 Star
The Great Hornito - "American Satan feels like a Disney channel movie that actually shows the sex and drug use scenes, not just suggest them. This movie is emo hipster heaven, but for me, it feels more like my worst nightmare. The acting is terrible. The writing is even worse. The music is not that bad but worst of all the movie is really boring. The only good thing to come out of this movie was the Deal with the Devil cover contest they had on YouTube." - 2 Stars
Lord Battle - "It's hard to describe American Satan. It's got the excited mood of a Rags to Riches story, but tonally is impossible to navigate; the film turns murder into a joke and bullying into an epidemic, plays up sexual situations in a classic boys club style. This is what I found the most offensive, and not because I go looking for these type of cultural insensitivities but because I was genuinely haunted by the way they handled the groupie character losing her virginity. This could have been a "girls like sex too" moment and been fine. Instead, it plays out like this: said groupie appears with her mom at the tour bus. Goldberg (yes the pro wrestler) is persuaded by her mother to let her daughter in to lose her virginity (this is played for laughs). The groupie walks to the back of the bus and finds our hero being emo (he's crying about his girlfriend catching him in the act of cheating or something (it's the Devils' fault, so we can still like him) who she then forcefully seduces. We then see her mom flirting with one of the bandmates outside the door. Cut back to inside the room and the groupie has been turned around, while our emo hero is forcefully granting her wish. While this is happening there is one very low camera angle centered on the groupies' ankles, it's unclear why we are lingering here until blood runs down her leg... The way this was shot inspires negative emotions, which isn't out of the ordinary since this whole film, again, lacks tonal cohesion. The groupie then leaves the back room and is greeted by her mom bouncing on the lap of the bandmate she was speaking with earlier. This breaks the groupie's heart, as she pulls her mom off the bus crying. We later see the mother-daughter duo at home with their police officer father, just long enough to see dad shoot himself in the head... Why?! Is this an awkward VH1 rock and roll history propaganda film, an elaborate commercial for a band, or just a poorly thought-out cool guy film that has more collateral damage than The Relentless' deal with the Devil? Who cares, don't watch it." - 1 Star
Wandering Panda - "A dirty pile of trash and excrement. American Satan has no right to ever exist. Whoever made this movie had no idea what they were doing. Oh and this is almost 3 hours!!! What in the absolute orgy fuck were they thinking?! Do not, I repeat do not watch this movie, it will make you want to kill yourself." - 1 Star
Dabbles - "Soooo I believe I've seen something like this with Mark Wahlberg. Yeah, nope, I'm good. Sorry Lord Battle, this is my review." - 2 Stars
Huntress - "Even if you look past the dumb name and high school fantasy plot, American Satan is just a badly made movie. It’s confused; the mechanical monologues spewing from these awful characters seem to be telling you that fame is evil, but every so often someone else will come in and drop some Rollingstone Magazine trivia about how many records Black Sabbath sold in the 70’s or something. There was not a single strong personality or remotely likable person in this movie, and the fact that they don’t all die is almost as upsetting as the weird orgy scenes I cringed through. And they can't blame budget or lack of star power, because just about everyone in this mess is known for something else. American Satan was unforgettably and unapologetically awful and there’s nothing but a douchy smirk waiting for you at the end of it. I don’t regret watching it, but I almost wish I could forget it happened." - 1 Star
The Overlook Theatre Final Rating*
(Below is for after you've seen the film)
Apparently, there was an American Satan cover contest at some point leading up to the film. I'm not sure what or how you would win but it seems like you entered by recording a vocal cover of "Let Him Burn" on YouTube. This, of course, has opened the floodgates for some of the most entertainingly cringy covers I've ever seen. Again, YouTube voyeurs who find trolling funny will enjoy this Top 5 Deal With The Devil Contestants, hand picked by The Great Hornito:
5. DriDarkness (250 Views)
Dri's cover was particularly eerie and dark. It sent chills down my spine! Go to 0:46 for MeeEEhhHH!
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4.Rib Rose in Brambles (91 Views)
Brambles has some amazing range and her timing is impeccable. Rose's also got enough stage presence to take her far in her career. She has the "It" factor. RIB will be signed any day now!
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3. Naomi Sanders (675 Views)
I love this video so much that I find myself watching it over and over, even though her eyeliner gives me anxiety.
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2. Artish Human (1,321 Views)
This might be my nostalgia pick since it's the first "Deal With The Devil" contest entry I viewed! Enjoy Artish's powerful yet sentimental rendition.
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1. Christian Hartt (2,229 Views)
I found Christian Hartt while scouring YouTube for fashion tips. Who knew I'd not only find the greatest fashion icon on the web, but also the clear winner of the "Deal With The Devil" contest!? ...Well, I actually don't know who won the devil's deal but I can honestly say we're all winners thanks to these awesome submissions!
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- The Great Hornito
The Overlook Theatre materialized in a residence for a special screening on 1/18/2018
*Based on the star ratings turned in by character reviewers, others viewed and got to "Dislike" or "Like" but that does not affect the rating.
*Based on the star ratings turned in by character reviewers, others viewed and got to "Dislike" or "Like" but that does not affect the rating.
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