Last week I talked about part one of a blindly selected CreepyPasta about a board game, which you can find here. But the more I thought about it, the more unfair it felt not to talk about its sequel, especially since there are only two parts. So this week, I'll look at part two and the story as a whole.
Ikidomari (Part 2)
Reading Time: 14 Minutes 44 seconds
Synopsis: Gordon brings his friends to the abandoned apartment to share his torment with them. Let the game continue!
Part one of Ikidomari was entirely set up. It started off making some big claims via the main character's reflection on what he'd seen and ended on a cliffhanger, with his friends going to the abandoned apartment to disprove all the things he has been claiming to see and hear. The sequel continues right where the first one left off, which I enjoyed. It was able to jump directly into the ghosts and ghouls, which it did early and often, but not in a a lasting way. Shadowy creatures would show up whenever someone landed on a red space in the game, and they would menace the players for a bit, but in the net paragraph they would be back around the table with no resolution. It was hard to imagine the scared teens (or whatever ages they were) staring down a sinister spirit and then turning their back to her and continuing their game. This was just one of the instances where the suspense in the story was wasted. This also happened when the players were taking their turns, all hoping to avoid the dreaded red spaces, which would unleash more unnerving events into the air. These sequences always felt underutilized.
As it was stated in the comments to this story, from the moment these kids went into the apartment, you just had a feeling they were going to die. And they definitely do, but with the added bonus of becoming part of either the game of house, and helping to haunt the still living players, which makes it even more difficult to accept the unresolved endings to their turns.
I'm not sure if this is true or a face-saving technique, but this was apparently not the final version of this story. The author answered a comment and explained that their friend uploaded the wrong version, and that there was a cleaned up, edited draft out there, which I'd also love to read. As daunting as some of the imagery was, I can only imagine how much better it would be if the writing and pacing was edited.